This is one of those weeks that make you wonder.
Our report cards went home on Monday. That in itself isn't anything too much to wonder about... but they were moved to the computer for the first time. It's a great move - it's time for the change. But change does not come easy to those of us living in the elementary.
Added to that change we have parent teacher conferences. Now, these in and of themselves are no big deal. It's a great opportunity for parents and teachers to get together and chat. By 4th grade there are very few things that parent's have not already heard. So, if you have troubling things to share - it isn't new. If you have great things to share - that isn't new either.
Knowing all of this - why are so many teachers hanging by the edge of their teeth this week. I spoke to three different people today who said at some point during this week they were fighting the urge to huddle in a corner and cry their eyes out. These are seasoned teachers, of varying ages and family structures.
What is it about this week that reduces us to tears and sniffles?
I wish I knew.
I have tried to prepare for this week. I've made my lists, compiled my notes. But, that doesn't seem to matter. It's not the actual conferernce or the report cards that makes the days difficult.
Instead, I think it's that everything else in a teacher's already full life must continue on at the very same time. There are no pauses, no breaks, no down time.
I walked into school on Monday an emotional wreck. But, as a teacher, there is nothing I can do about that. I can't decide that I will hole up in my office and catch up on alone work... or schedule a comp day for all the extra hours of time I've dedicated to report card preparation.
Both of these are luxuries that teacher's don't have. Our students are there no matter what. And, vacation days are none existent in a teacher's life. There is no such thing as a comp day for all the time that report cards take. We are expected to use our after school and our home hours for things like that. There is a comp day for the actual conferences. That is a plus.. But we teach up until 3:30 and parents can start coming at 4:00 for their conferences.
I can spend lots of time complaining... does it change?
No.
So, what can I do to change the situation for me? How can I reshape my life to keep from melting down?
That is one of the perpetual questions of life as a teacher.
I love my job, I love almost every part of it.
Each day is a series of questions. What can I do to improve the learning of my students? How can those changes be made by me? How can I help? And how can I actually carry through?
So - where does that leave me?
It leaves me happy that day one is past and report cards are handed out and my sanity is slowly returning!!!
And to that I say - good night.
Report cards
It's that time again...report cards. This is one of my least favorite moments in edcation. In one swoop what I have been working on in my classroom is reduced to a piece of paper. I want to explain and waver and justify. But when it's written in black and white that isn't possible. Instead my kids are transformed into into + and-.
As a parent I feel the same way. I look at my daughters report cards and I don't really know what is going on in their classrooms.
But, what is the alternative. As a teacher I can't write a narrative about each child in my room. There just isn't time. I can invite parents to join us in my room. But, even that is a contrived situation.
The truth is - school is a something different. It's the way kids spend their lives. But, it's so much more...
How do we share that with parents? How do we let them know the Ah ha moments with their children? How do we give them a bit of the discussion during the guidance bully lesson? That's what I struggle with.
As a first time teacher I was amazed and a little appalled at what parent's expected me, the teacher to know about their child. Who do they play with at recess? Do they have friends? Are they happy? That was the information they wanted - not what % did they get on their last math test. Now, as a parent and a veteran teacher, I understand. Not only do they want to know more - I want to give it to them.
It is such a privilege to be the teacher who gets to spend time with their child. It is also an awesome responsibility. The longer I teach the more I feel that responsibility.
In this era of testing and testing and testing, I understand that what I am really teaching them is not an isolated skill..there is almost nothing that I teach them in 4th grade that they don't get again and again in later grades. Instead, what I am teaching is a year long view of life through the mind and soul of me.That is a much larger responsibility than making sure they know how to divide and multiply.
And, that brings me back to the report cards. As I fill in the little squares. I know that it isn't enough..but, it is all that I have.
As a parent I feel the same way. I look at my daughters report cards and I don't really know what is going on in their classrooms.
But, what is the alternative. As a teacher I can't write a narrative about each child in my room. There just isn't time. I can invite parents to join us in my room. But, even that is a contrived situation.
The truth is - school is a something different. It's the way kids spend their lives. But, it's so much more...
How do we share that with parents? How do we let them know the Ah ha moments with their children? How do we give them a bit of the discussion during the guidance bully lesson? That's what I struggle with.
As a first time teacher I was amazed and a little appalled at what parent's expected me, the teacher to know about their child. Who do they play with at recess? Do they have friends? Are they happy? That was the information they wanted - not what % did they get on their last math test. Now, as a parent and a veteran teacher, I understand. Not only do they want to know more - I want to give it to them.
It is such a privilege to be the teacher who gets to spend time with their child. It is also an awesome responsibility. The longer I teach the more I feel that responsibility.
In this era of testing and testing and testing, I understand that what I am really teaching them is not an isolated skill..there is almost nothing that I teach them in 4th grade that they don't get again and again in later grades. Instead, what I am teaching is a year long view of life through the mind and soul of me.That is a much larger responsibility than making sure they know how to divide and multiply.
And, that brings me back to the report cards. As I fill in the little squares. I know that it isn't enough..but, it is all that I have.
Our First Workshop presentation
It happened this week. I and my techie cohort presented or first presentation at a state level conference.
This was a very big deal for us! We wanted things to go smoothly - and they really did...
But - we had the second to the last workshop spot on the last day. Our room was down a hallway - away from the main room. And the crowd wasn't all that large.
But, that didn't really matter. We did it! We shared what we knew and there was a group of people who seemed to want to learn from us. That is something....
Now, it's almost a week later and life hasn't changed at all for us.
That's not entirely true. I had an ah ha moment....
I've been involved with the background tech stuff at my school for almost 10 years. In that time I've worked hard to keep myself on top of some of the trends and software changes. I've spent many hours working on the machines and the tools in our building, ordering, repairing and maintaining. Now, we are making changes. That behind the scenes work is going to someone else. I've thought a lot about what that means for me. And most of my thoughts have not been very positive. I've liked being in the middle of the changes in our world. I've liked knowing what is going on and sharing the information with others. I've liked being stressed because it all felt exciting and important. Now, that I"m not involved I was a bit sad. It was hard to give all that up....
But - I'm learning.I thought it was tech that was helping me keep my sanity in the changing face of my classroom and the high stakes testing environment...it wasn't. What helped me keep my sanity was being involved in a project that was bigger than myself. It was helping my building move into a new place that made me excited. It just happened to be tech.
And I thought I would need to give that up. I'm now understanding what it means to have much more time. Now, I can actually help teachers use the tools we have and dream about the next step instead of worrying about keeping them all running. I can happily give that over to our tech director.
It may seem like a small change - but it's huge! I get to choose! I don't have to be tied to the computer lab on Saturdays like I used to be. Now I can surf the web and find out how to use Goolge Earth or some other app and use that in my own room with my kiddos.
I am learning to give up my ownership. It doesn't depend on me. I am only a tool.
Now, what does that have to do with our presentation? Well, I realized that I do have something to share. I hope to keep sharing that with others. I think that I do a good job of that.
So as my cohort and I look at the next step.... we wonder.
This was a very big deal for us! We wanted things to go smoothly - and they really did...
But - we had the second to the last workshop spot on the last day. Our room was down a hallway - away from the main room. And the crowd wasn't all that large.
But, that didn't really matter. We did it! We shared what we knew and there was a group of people who seemed to want to learn from us. That is something....
Now, it's almost a week later and life hasn't changed at all for us.
That's not entirely true. I had an ah ha moment....
I've been involved with the background tech stuff at my school for almost 10 years. In that time I've worked hard to keep myself on top of some of the trends and software changes. I've spent many hours working on the machines and the tools in our building, ordering, repairing and maintaining. Now, we are making changes. That behind the scenes work is going to someone else. I've thought a lot about what that means for me. And most of my thoughts have not been very positive. I've liked being in the middle of the changes in our world. I've liked knowing what is going on and sharing the information with others. I've liked being stressed because it all felt exciting and important. Now, that I"m not involved I was a bit sad. It was hard to give all that up....
But - I'm learning.I thought it was tech that was helping me keep my sanity in the changing face of my classroom and the high stakes testing environment...it wasn't. What helped me keep my sanity was being involved in a project that was bigger than myself. It was helping my building move into a new place that made me excited. It just happened to be tech.
And I thought I would need to give that up. I'm now understanding what it means to have much more time. Now, I can actually help teachers use the tools we have and dream about the next step instead of worrying about keeping them all running. I can happily give that over to our tech director.
It may seem like a small change - but it's huge! I get to choose! I don't have to be tied to the computer lab on Saturdays like I used to be. Now I can surf the web and find out how to use Goolge Earth or some other app and use that in my own room with my kiddos.
I am learning to give up my ownership. It doesn't depend on me. I am only a tool.
Now, what does that have to do with our presentation? Well, I realized that I do have something to share. I hope to keep sharing that with others. I think that I do a good job of that.
So as my cohort and I look at the next step.... we wonder.
It's Here...
I'm in the midst of 4th grade.
It's better than I could have imagined and more exhausting than I ever remember!
Yippee! For new attitudes, new students, new notebooks and new leaders.
Yippee! For old teachers, old routines, old curriculum and old film projectors.
That's the best thing about teaching - the blend of old and new creating and recreating each year. That is what keeps us alive and growing. I think!
It's better than I could have imagined and more exhausting than I ever remember!
Yippee! For new attitudes, new students, new notebooks and new leaders.
Yippee! For old teachers, old routines, old curriculum and old film projectors.
That's the best thing about teaching - the blend of old and new creating and recreating each year. That is what keeps us alive and growing. I think!
It's Coming...
I got my letter today. You know the one..inviting me back to a new school year. Giving me all the dates and moments that I need to be ready.
I have very mixed feelings. It's just been such a weird summer. A summer of unexpected sorrow and supportive friends. And when we return to school - Bill will not be there. His retirement at the end of last year was one thing, but his death was something else. Now, we have to decide how to make all the pieces fit together to make a new picture. I'm concerned that some of our pieces will not easily move into different places on the picture.
Ok - enough of a metaphor - I mourn the known and fear for the unknown. But, in the unknown there is also excitement and anticipation. So, I need to hang on to that. To remember that each fall brings a whole new set of possibilities. I think Bill would have wanted that. He would have wanted us to look for the best in each of us and to hold each other to the highest standards possible.
So, Bill I will try for that. I will try to show my students the respect and care you did.
We will miss you!!
I have very mixed feelings. It's just been such a weird summer. A summer of unexpected sorrow and supportive friends. And when we return to school - Bill will not be there. His retirement at the end of last year was one thing, but his death was something else. Now, we have to decide how to make all the pieces fit together to make a new picture. I'm concerned that some of our pieces will not easily move into different places on the picture.
Ok - enough of a metaphor - I mourn the known and fear for the unknown. But, in the unknown there is also excitement and anticipation. So, I need to hang on to that. To remember that each fall brings a whole new set of possibilities. I think Bill would have wanted that. He would have wanted us to look for the best in each of us and to hold each other to the highest standards possible.
So, Bill I will try for that. I will try to show my students the respect and care you did.
We will miss you!!